The Comforting Touch
by Half fried egg roll
Summary: The Survey Corps is preparing for the 57th expedition. In the midst of preparations, a rookie, Jean, lays eyes on Petra and the both can't help but be smitten by each other.
1. When eyes meet

**Chapter - 1: When Eyes Meet**

It had been three weeks since Commander Erwin Smith had given his recruitment speech at the training grounds after the Battle of Trost. The new batch of Survey Corps rookies had arrived at the castle a week before the expedition was to be kicked off. Amongst the inhabitants was Jean Kirschtein, who was assisting with stable work on his first day. He had just finished raking out the spoilt hay from the stables as Dita, a Survey corps veteran, saddled up the horses for the next week's expedition. But Dita suddenly remembered he had left a few saddles back at the castle, along with some fodder buckets for the horses.

"No problem, I'll fetch them for you," Jean offered. Dita thanked him with a nod. Jean went to the storeroom, and he found the saddles and the fodder buckets. It seemed like it was a lot to carry back, but he managed the load by hanging a couple buckets over his shoulders and and carrying the remaining saddles in his arms. While walking out, however, he tripped over a broken tile and fell to the floor, spilling fodder everywhere.

Hearing this racket, Petra rushed out of her room nearby and saw that Jean was picking things up.

"Are you all right?" she asked, looking concerned. "Are you hurt?"

"No, Petra-san, I think I'm OK," said Jean, trying to hide his slight embarrassment at the situation. As he brushed some fodder out of his hair, Petra helped him by brushing some off his shoulder. He raised his head to look at the petite lady, and felt his face flush almost instantly _Wow, I knew she's beautiful but even more so when she is close_, he thought to himself.

"Hey, is it okay if I help you with these saddles?" Petra asked.

"It's not a problem, I can manage things," Jean replied, his face still a bit flushed from embarrassment.

"Oh, don't be silly, it's okay to ask for help sometimes," Petra said with a light chuckle. Her light-colored ginger hair waved in the wind and her amber eyes glistened as a bit of sun shone through the corridor window. Jean couldn't help the barely audible "wow" that slipped out his mouth.

"Huh? I didn't hear you, Jean," Petra said with a smile.

"Oh nothing, nothing," Jean stuttered

The both of them talked as they tried to clean up the mess.

"Mikasa Ackerman is our batch's top graduate, Eren's sister? you know her? Ohh! and Reiner Braun is a close second by the way!" Jean spoke eagerly about his colleagues, "Armin may be small, but his cunning makes up for it!"

"Ohh? and what rank did you graduate at?" Petra listened attentively, getting to know the rookies better.

"Umm, I did so-so, sixth rank…" Jean tried to act modest.

"Well then, I'll have high expectations from you!" She replied.

Jean let out a giggle and continued," And then there's, Marco, he…" he paused abruptly.

Petra looked up and could see that a tear was running down his right cheek. She took his hand and her touch calmed him down slightly, but the memory of his closest friend's death was still overwhelming.

"I know how it feels when you lose friends," Petra whispered. "I owe my life to two of them, and even I don't know where they are now…I'm really sorry for asking you," she apologized, looking worried.

"It-it's ok Petra-san," Jean said softly. They walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Listen," she finally said. "I know that you have to finish up your work at the stable, and then Dita has to teach you men the long distance detection formation. After that, if you feel like you need someone to talk to, just let me know." Finally, they had reached the stable and Jean thanked her, wiping his eyes. As she walked away, Jean felt a strange tingle in his heart and turned back a couple times to look at Petra's back, still trying to take in a bit of her beauty. Unbeknownst to him, she was also looking back at him…

"What took you so long?" Dita asked, scratching his bandana.

"I'm sorry, Dita-san, I, err, fell over and, umm, had to clean the mess up." Even after his encounter with Petra, Jean had mixed feelings; though he was still sad about Marco, he felt happy about Petra, but he wasn't sure how the two emotions could be felt at the same time…

In the meantime, as she walked back to the castle, Petra still felt stupid about asking Jean those questions and felt as though she hadn't apologized to him enough. _He's really cute though, wouldn't hurt talking to him again_. Petra smiled.

"Oi, Petra! Get your daydreaming ass back in here! Corporal Levi has something to plan out!" Oluo, one of Petra's obnoxious, but skilled partners in the special operations squad, yelled across the way, breaking her train of thought.

"Where do you think I'm going, you pompous idiot?" She screamed back. _Well, back to business for now…_

* * *

Later that night in the dining hall, Jean scanned around the room with his eyes and finally found Petra. _She looks so simple, yet she's divine_, he thought to himself. Petra looked back at that exact moment and he blushed and quickly looked down. He slightly looked back up and she had a charming smile on her face. As much as Jean tried, he just couldn't look away; it was as if his mind and his eyes were glued on her.

He smiled, and Petra nodded; she apparently remembered their earlier agreement with talking to each other. He acknowledged that he saw her, and shortly after dinner was done, he cleaned up and took his leave from Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt. Walking past the storeroom, his heart began to race.

_She's the only person who has ever heard me out, and truly tries to understand me_. Though he had seen her all through dinner, he couldn't wait to be near her. As he walked to her room, Jean gulped nervously, his mind still trying to process what his earlier interaction with Petra meant. Was she just trying to be nice to him, or did she really feel the same way he did...?

As Petra waited for Jean to arrive, she sat on the edge of her bed nervously moving her legs and staring down to the ground in deep thought. All the men in the Corps were extremely dedicated and skilled, but she had always felt that they lacked emotions. Hardened by countless expeditions, it seemed that their comrades' deaths somehow had stopped having an effect on them.

But not Jean; he was a rare person. He valued people, and kept ties with them. He had a heart, though he rarely showed it.

Jean knocked on the bedroom door, and Petra opened it almost immediately, as if she had been standing next to it in anticipation. That was the first time that he had seen her without her Survey Corps uniform on. Instead of the uniform, she wore a simple dress of a white buttoned top and a blue knee length skirt. Even in something so plain, she still looked beautiful and delicate.

"Hi, Jean. How was dinner?" Petra asked softly. Jean blushed instantly, just like the first time she had spoken to him.

"Ohh it was good, Petra-san...umm." Jean stumbled over his words again. Petra giggled softly and took his hand to pull him into the room. Jean loved the feel of her touch.

"Jean, I'm sorry about what I had asked you earlier in the day. I feel as though I haven't apologized enough, which is why I wanted to speak with you again. And by the way, just call me Petra." Her casual attitude made him more comfortable and he was delighted to see that she had yet to let go of his hand.

"It-it's just that…" Jean felt an ache in his chest as he thought of Marco. "Everyone respected and adored him," he continued. "He was a brilliant person and a formidable soldier." He shut his eyes to hide his tears. "But the thing that saddens me the most is that I will never knew how he died," He lifted his head up. "So in order to carry on his will and strength, I decided to join the survey corps." While Jean talked, they had moved towards the bedroom window.

Petra had a concerned expression on her face, and she wiped a tear from his cheek. "Marco will live on through you, and the fact that his will and memory motivated you to join the survey corps is testament to that," she said. Thankfully, Jean had noticed that he was stuttering and stumbling less around Petra, and was becoming more comfortable

"Thank you," he replied, "I believe you are right." He turned his gaze back to Petra after looking outside for a moment. Her eyes were as vibrant as ever in the moonlight.

"The crescent moon looks really pretty tonight doesn't it," Petra said as she stared into the distance, occasionally looking back to Jean.

"Not as pretty as you, Petra." Jean said, used to just saying what he was on his mind, regardless of who was listening. In the silence that followed, he smiled as he felt himself peacefully accepting Marco's death. And with that memory put to rest, he could share what he really felt with Petra.

It was Petra's turn to blush, and with a laugh, she tenderly squeezed his right arm with both of her hands. Jean felt of all his senses come alive at the knowledge that he was standing in the presence of someone as beautiful as Petra.

"You have a really cute face, you know that?" Petra said suddenly.

"Really? My batch-mates call me horseface," Jean replied.

"Then it's a very cute horseface!" She chuckled at his almost serious expression. She pulled him close and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Should we really?" Jean asked, his nerves causing his voice to shake.

"Jean…you're special, and I don't know how many chances I'll get after tonight…to tell you, we might not..." Petra gently kissed his cheeks, but she did have to stretch up a little to do so. Jean bent his head down and their lips met. For him, the moment was so surreal; was he really so lucky that he could get close to someone as celestial as Petra?

Jean lifted her up by her hind thighs, and the action earned him an excited gasp. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he breathed in her scent; it drove him crazy. But as much as he wanted to move things along quickly, he knew he had to treat her with the gentleness and respect she deserved. He placed her on the window sill with the utmost care.

In that moment, everything was perfect. Both Petra and Jean had no thought about the impending expedition, what might happen or if they would lose someone special. They were filled with the mellow touch of each other's bodies, the cares and worries of their future temporarily forgotten.

The rest of the night was something both would remember forever, but how long would forever last?


	2. The fear of losing

**Chapter - 2: The Fear of Losing**

**A week later…**

The entire Survey Corps expedition had been thrown into disarray. The long distance detection formation spiralled into chaos. Two large groups of titans appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and attacked from the left and directly ahead.

The whole left flank was wiped out. In the centre Levi's special operations squad sacrificed themselves to protect Eren. With only Petra left fending for herself. Red Flares were still being fired in desperation, hoping for any sort of reinforcements. She was faced with two titans approaching her, and was running low on gas for her 3D maneuver gear. But still lifted herself up to fight till her last breath.

All of a sudden, out of the right flank came Jean. He managed to blindside a 7m titan and slashed it's nape, killing it off. But in his rush of adrenaline he forgot to carry forward his swinging momentum to launch himself, and was grabbed and bitten in half by the second titan!

"JEAN!" Petra screamed in horror.

She used the last of her gas to finish off the titan and immediately rushed to him. "No…God, no," she fell to her knees. Jean was barely alive as he lifted his arm, Petra held it . "No Jean, please don't die," tears flowed down her eyes, as she barely managed to speak.

"Petra…I'll always.." Jean's last words faded away and his hand went limp.

"JEAN!" Petra woke up in her bed with a sudden jerk. She was still breathing heavily, almost huffing, but relieved it was only a nightmare. She eased her breathing and looked out of the window, a cool wind was blowing as dawn approached.

She looked to her left and saw Jean sleeping, still coiled up in the bedsheets. His eyes were fluttering, perhaps he was dreaming too; or having a nightmare?

"He's so adorable -and a bed-hog!" Petra whispered to herself and smiled.

Her heart was still racing after last night, and the memories came back to her, as she smiled a little bit more. Jean started moving his hand around, probably looking for Petra's. She covered it with her's, and Jean calmed down a bit, going back into a peaceful sleep.

"Hey, wake up horseface, you have the first patrol today." Petra tapped his head trying to wake him up.

Jean mumbled under his breath, shifted and turned around showing no sign of waking up. Petra shook her head and thought it's still a little early so it's Okay if he slept a bit more.

* * *

She got up, put on her clothes and walked out of her room still a bit drowsy and rubbing her eyes. Hanji Zoe was up too and in the common mess.

"Hey, Petra! Over here!" She called out to Petra. Hanji was smiling more than she usually did, almost giving her a knowing grin.

"What?" Asked Petra, a little embarrassed.

"Oh, come on you know what. Congratulations!" Hanji tried to poke a little fun at her.

"He he…Umm how did you know?" Petra now had a big blush on her face. But relieved it was only Hanji who knew, both of them being good friends, she would have found out soon enough anyway.

"Ah, let's just say I happened to overhear your…umm conversation - screw that, I'm happy for you two, people need something to lighten up before big expeditions. So let's get suited up then." She got up after finishing her tea.

"Umm ya, think we should." Petra also turned back and headed to her room.

Jean was finally up, rubbing his eyes and struggling with the bedsheets.

"You really are a clowny character, come on get up now, you have morning patrol today with the others." Petra giggled

"Yeah sure, thanks Mom." Jean hated getting up. But he turned around, looked at Petra and smiled, his irritation disappeared instantly, as he watched her change back into her uniform.

"Thanks for last night, Jean. But what did it mean?" Petra seemed a little unsure.

"Umm I don't…exactly know." Jean reflected the same feeling, but knew in his heart that he really did love her.

Petra looked down with a sad look on her face. Jean couldn't bear it, he got up, rushed to her side and pinned her to the wall. Petra gasped a little. Jean could feel her well toned stomach flinch at the touch of his hand.

"Petra Ral, you're the most beautiful woman I know, and I will always love you." He finally assured her.

Petra let out a little tear of happiness and smiled "I love you too, Jean, and always will...But your breath stinks!" Petra and Jean got back to their usual selves again.

"Well you don't exactly smell of roses and the morning breeze too you know." Jean gave it back to her. As the both of them kissed. But Petra backed away and looked down again. Seemingly remembering her dream, and having a terrified expression on her face.

"Hey, whats the matter?" Jean held her chin up

"Jean I had a nightmare last night, and you were…" Petra remembered clearly now. "What if, something like that happens to you, What will I do?"

"Oh, you foolish girl, I wont go anywhere, and I'll protect you till my last breath, although I think it will be the other way around, with you saving my ass," Jean tried to lighten her mood. Petra let out her usual charming laugh, He loved it as always.

"Alright let's get ready, Ill see you soon." Jean said and hugged her.

Petra smiled as he left. "I hope we don't lose each other." Petra whispered to herself as Jean walked back to his room.


	3. Last memory of Her

**Chapter - 3: The last memory of Her**

"Jean…you've been sitting up all night, I made you some tea." Jean heard Petra's worried voice from behind him.

He stopped writing what he was and partially turned his body around to take the cup Petra was handing out, but instead his hand just waved through thin air, then he remembered again.

He buried his head in his hands and wept inconsolably, he remembered when Corporal Levi gave the cruel command of dumping the dead bodies off the cart so they could outrun the titans, he was forced to throw his love's body away, he tried to hold on to her as long as he could, but had to let go, her bloodied face was the last he saw of her.

Jean tried to stop crying, he wiped the tears off his eyes and picked up his pen again, but he started talking to himself," Why did she have to sacrifice herself? Why did she have to fight the female titan? Why was I not there to save her? Why didn't she try to escape?" These thoughts threatened to shred his mind apart.

But he collected himself again, he also remembered what she said to him when he remembered his friend Marco.

"She gave her life to protect humanity's last hope, Now, it's up to us to make her sacrifice, to make everyone's sacrifice worth it." His eyes' expression changed from those of sorrow to those of respect and admiration, as he thought of everything he had learnt from Petra, and he continued writing.

_Petra, the strongest person I've ever known, perhaps not physically but she had a strong mind and a stronger heart, she utterly believed in the cause of humanity, she made the ultimate sacrifice to make sure we as a race could still see and feel a tiny spark of hope._

Jean's hand shivered as he wrote, but he continued. _She has re-affirmed my conscience about my responsibility as a soldier and I will ensure I'll do everything I can to carry on her strength._

He kept his pen down and carefully kept the note in his jacket pocket, the same care he would show when he would hold Petra.

It was a short memoir, but something he knew would rekindle his determination or give him the power of will when it has absolutely deserted him, or if in the field of battle, someone finds his note, that person might read it, and Jean hoped it may reach out to that soldier and help him or her in a similar way.

There was so much unwritten in that little note however, the way she made him feel, she showed him that there is true beauty in a world rife with despair and sorrow, the touch of her hand was enough to let him know that everything would be fine, even though he knew her for a very short time, she left a mark on his heart, that perhaps no one ever had.

He got up slowly, his muscles still aching from the last expedition, he stared out of his room window, with a blank expression on his face, staring at the fleeting twinkling of the many stars that lined the night sky. He turned to face the door and walked towards it, the wooden floor creaked under the weight of his heavy heart.

As he got out he walked the length of the corridor, he remembered the time he first saw Petra, there was a weak smile on his face, but it disappeared when a part of his mind wished they would have never met, so he wouldn't have to face this pain, twice in his life.

He reached Petra's room, it was open.

"Silly girl, don't know why she keeps it unlocked all the time," His mind started to roam again, but his fists clenched as it came crashing back to reality.

He saw her favorite dress again the, white top and blue skirt, he gently ran his hand down the cloth.

Jean then moved to the same window where a week ago Petra and him were standing, staring out admiring the moon's beauty, he remembered how she brought peace to his mind, but only for it to be wrecked again.

But now Jean's eyes narrowed, he knew, that he had to avenge Petra, but not by killing the person responsible for her death, but by achieving what she believed in, which is a victory of humanity, maybe he won't see it during his lifetime, but he will do whatever he can, so that soldiers, no humankind after him can work towards that.

He started staring at the moon again, it wasn't a crescent this time, but a full moon and just as beautiful, the wind dried his tears, and he now knew what he had to do, the only thought that still wrenched at his heart was that he would never be able to feel her touch again.

While staring out he kept glancing to his right every now and then, hoping that somehow from some warp in reality, out of somewhere, Petra would be by his side once again.

* * *

**Author's note**

No, it wasn't easy for me, but I had to end this story, Jean's reaction to Petra's death is what I thought was best. If you want to know what happened to Petra, please PM me, I can't write it down in the chapter.


End file.
